“A sweet friendship refreshes the soul.” - Proverbs 27:9
In 2017 I found myself in a season of being depleted. I considered myself a good friend as the ones I had in my life then, were there and had been for years. My friends were my coworkers. But here’s the thing, I was longing for more Godly friendships. Sure, I would counsel, pray, provide advice and do all the things I knew to pour into them; I just wasn’t getting anything in return.
Yes, they were kind, and yes, they would hear me out during my times of trouble, and we had some things in common, but we were not like-minded. For me or in my perception, I didn’t see the desire in their lives to follow the Lord wholeheartedly. They knew of Him, attended services on occasion, but the fruit wasn’t there.
Personally, I can talk of the Lord all day long because I love Him and He has provided plenty for me to talk about. But the conversations I was having with those other relationships were more along the line of how they got drunk over the weekend, how bad life was, how they were struggling or talking about family dramas. As I had said earlier, I would listen, counsel and pray for them but it was just one-way. So, I prayed. And when I prayed, I asked God for Godly friendships, I prayed for people who loved Him like me to be aligned in my path, I prayed for boldness in my life and to be the friend like I have never been before. I considered it done and waited.
In all Gods goodness, I didn’t have to wait long. My family and I were attending the same church I had in my singleness since back in 2006. In August 2017, my husband had a nudging to visit one of our churches other campuses and we made the full transition. We began serving there and by December that year, we had become leads over a team of volunteers and started being positioned around lovely people of God. And guess what, as we became friends we would spend most of our time just talking about the Lord! I loved hearing their stories and being able to share mine! God is so faithful! We pray for one another and encourage one another! What a blessing to be on the receiving end! These are my people, my tribe, my sisters from another mister! LOL! But seriously, my cup remains in continual overflow with this group and God continues to expand it in other areas! From friendships to sisterhood is where we’re at!
In all honesty, I didn’t realize what a treasure I had been fully given, until back in 2021 when my actual sister was diagnosed with cancer. My friends rallied around in prayer for me, my sister and the family as we navigated through the process. When she quickly passed after a short 6 weeks, prayers pivoted from healing and comfort to comfort and strength. My family was now entering a new battle but the warriors were many and we were prepared with our tribe. This is where my eyes were opened by the Lord. I saw this regarding how He prepared my heart. With tears in my eyes now, I didn’t feel that I lost my only sister that year as he had been blessing me with so many. I have so many sisters! God is so faithful!
Have you evaluated your friendships lately? Do you have sisterhood with them? Are your chit-chats something that Jesus would be in? Are you and/or they available to provide you with “loving truths” and not just give you what you want to hear? OUCH! I know. That one can hurt. But again, you must be the friend that has the heart posture to receive even the truths that hurt. All good things to consider.
You may be asking, “But what if I don’t have any friends, just acquaintances?” Or what about, “What if I’m an introvert, what then?” Well, I felt this way for the longest and you are not alone. People who know me now laugh when I mention that I too was an introvert. You can’t expect change when you don’t do anything different. You have to position yourself with people for opportunities to make friends. If you just sit in a cubicle all day and don’t engage with anyone, then go straight home after work, you aren’t doing your part. Do you talk with people at church, or do you just receive and leave? As a friend, you must invest time and attention to others. It’s supposed to be a reciprocal loop, not just a one-way street! So go find your tribe. Seek your community. Strike up the conversations. Pray and ask for those relationships. In this life, you are going to have troubles and having that sisterhood can be the thing that carries you through it. I’m so glad I prayed for mine.